Revision

      I am doing my revision on my personal narrative. I picked it because it had the most issues that I can fix. I focused Word choice and Sentence fluency. The parts that I added and took out contributed a lot in the understanding of the essay. It is now a lot easier to follow, which makes it more enjoyable. Also I added all of the editing issues that Dr. D commented on.

The Louisiana Flood 

Did you are anyone you know get flooded in the recent Louisiana flooding? Thousands of people were impacted by the flood, and 80% of the victims did not have flood insurance. Some cities affected by the flood were Walker, Central, and Baton Rouge. There were many others, but Denham Springs got hit the hardest with 90% of it flooding. 

I also was a victim of the horrible flood. My family and I live in Denham Springs. At first we thought the water was not going to get in our house because it stopped at the porch and sat there for six long, tiring hours. We went to bed that scary, stressful night and woke up at 8 o’clock the next morning to see the water had come onto the porch and was at the doorstep just waiting to come in. My mom nervously burst into the kitchen screaming loudly, that we need to get all of our stuff off the floor. At nine o’clock the dirty, dark water started to come in the house. We thought we could soak up the water coming under the door with towels, but that lasted for only five minutes. The next thing we knew the dirty water was going through the walls and we had to just accept that the water was going to come in the house. 

The cold, rushing water got up to a foot and then stopped. The water stayed in our house for two days. We had to walk around in our boots and stay on top of furniture to stay dry.  We could not believe that our house was submerged in water and the electricity and air conditioning was still working. We were so thankful, at least we were not in the blazing, Louisiana heat. My parents were very scared the dinning room table would get  ruined. It was one of the first things they bought together when they got married. We decided to lift it up and put it on my sister’s gymnastics mats. The higher the water got the more mats we put under the table. Eventually there were so many mats supporting the dinning room table it began to float around the room. I believe that was the first time we had laughed since this experience started. Our dogs, Buddy and Bella, stayed on the couch the whole time. We were lucky very lucky because on the third day our neighbor, Mr. Micky, came over to our house on a boat to see if we needed to come to his house to sleep over. His house was the only one in the neighborhood that did not flood. The boat could not get to us before because of the strong current on the street, the water was flowing really fast. If he would have tried to get us earlier, no telling where the current would have taken him. We ended up staying at his house for two days.

When the water dropped enough for us to leave the neighborhood by car we went to my Aunt’s house in Port Allen.  The dogs did not come with us because we left them to guard the flooded house. Even though our family lost stuff in the flood, when we got to Aunt Monica’s house everybody was happy again. She has a huge house, a fun dog, and a great family.  She cooked for us every night and I got to watch my cousin, Anna Catherine, play in her volleyball games. My Uncle Phil would keep us laughing around the dinner table every night. I felt like I was part of  a really big family.  We ended up staying at their house for 2 weeks, then we moved into Downtown Baton Rouge where we rented an apartment. 

     There are good and bad things about the apartment. Our biggest problem is the way we packed all of our valuables.  Our valuables are now in boxes in a storage unit. We don't know what boxes we need and which ones we don’t, so we go and get a few boxes every day and see what’s inside. Since our family is living in such tight space compared to what we are used to, we seem to get into more arguments. The main reason  is because my sister and I have to share a room. The dogs now live with us in the apartment, and we have to walk them 4 times a day. We are used to just opening the door and letting them go in the back yard, but there is no backyard now. Even though we are living downtown, there are a lot of good qualities about it.  Having bunk beds is pretty cool. We can walk to everything. We can walk to the grocery store, pizza place, my dads restaurants and I even walked to church last Sunday. Also, on the roof top is an awesome pool. My sister and I both play sports. She plays softball and I play basketball. I had to find a basketball court nearby so I could practice. It turns out that my dad knew a guy, Jack, who lives one block down and has a sport court. Jack said it was fine if I used his court, so, I can play basketball whenever I want. However, my sister could not find a place to practice softball. 

This has been a very difficult year for Louisiana. There was the death of Alton Sterling, then the police shooting which left 3 officers dead, and now the historic flood. People of Baton Rouge and the surrounding areas have dealt with a lot of suffering this year. I believe the people of Baton Rouge are strong and will heal over time. In order to heal, the community has to come together and help one another.  The reason I have no doubt this will happen is because of how local people came together during the flood to help one another; just like my relatives came together to help my family. My experiences with the flood have taught me a very valuable lesson. Family and friends are the most important thing in life.